My Glass Half Empty Post

14 09 2009

I’m back at work after a week long vacation. We didn’t travel anywhere. It was just a blissful week of spending all day and night with Azita. I was tired of missing all of her firsts, and there have been a lot of them lately — crawling, pulling up, cruising, more coherent babbling (she now says “mama” and “baba”). I had hoped I’d get to witness a first something in this week off, but I didn’t. She’s now back in daycare where someone else gets to be there for all of the milestones in her life. This blows. It really, really blows. There’s no other way to look at it, at least not from my point of view. Right now I’m sitting at my desk at work, “looking forward” to a long day — we have a work thing that will keep me away from her until 7:30 tonight — and feeling about as woeful as I can get, until I get to see my darling little squirrel tonight. Yes, we call her “squirrel.” Actually, “squirrel” is her nick-nickname. The full nickname is really “squirrel butt”, and that’s definitely another post for another time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go cry at my own pity party.

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2 responses

16 09 2009
Michelle Garrison Hough

Stay the course! If you witness a milestone on the actual day it occurs, it’s still the day of the milestone. That counts! I love your blog. I am the flip side of the coin, the dreaded SAHM. You don’t want to be me. You are a writer. Your daughter has your example to admire, and as the local pizza man said to me over the weekend, “You’ll never be anything but a glorified nanny to those two boys!”

16 09 2009
zsafavian

See, I think a SAHM is far more than a glorified nanny. It really is the ultimate sacrifice in some ways. I’d love to be able to stay at home with Azita, but it’s mostly selfish. At least, that’s what I’ve realized this week. I just hate being apart from her. I can’t get enough of her. She loves me equally. I can definitely see that, but when I drop her off at daycare every morning this week her face lights up. She starts squirming when she sees her friends and wants me to put her down to crawl over to them. Still, I’d give anything to be in your place.

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