Please Don’t Take My Baby

8 12 2009

Azita is wobbling through life these days. And climbing. Every time I turn around she’s either doing the zombie walk — you know the one where she puts her arms out in front of her and takes very wobbly and jerky steps, as if her legs feel dead — or she’s climbing something. So this is why all that childproofing stuff is necessary. I’m finally getting it. The thing is, no matter how fast I act, she somehow manages to pull things on top of her, run into things, and fall — she’s a master of the faceplant.

Now I know all of you seasoned mothers out there are laughing at me. I know you told me so. I just couldn’t fathom what you meant at the time. Plus, don’t we all think “that” happens to other people, not us? So, here I am, mother to a daughter that is part adorable baby girl and part psycho mountain goat. It’s actually fun. Yes, it is tiring, especially after a very long day in the office, but I love playing with her much more now that she interacts with me in more interesting and active ways.

The problem is that, as I said, this girl is accident-prone. Just like her mom and her aunt. And just like the both of us, she is also always covered in bruises. They are all over her body. She looks like a Dalmatian. Or a victim of abuse. Here’s where the irrational fear kicks in. At least, Roger says it’s irrational, but I am not so sure. What if her daycare providers think she is an abuse victim? Or her pediatrician? Or anyone else who might see her without her clothes on? I can’t say that I wouldn’t think so if I didn’t actually see all the accidents. My sister knows what I’m going through. Her middle son inherited our clumsy ways, and he is a regular at the ER and urgent care. She’s also always afraid that Child Protective Services will come knocking on her door any minute now.

It can’t be an irrational fear if we both think it, right? The thing is that this fear, irrational or not, is leading me to bring up my daughter’s clumsiness in just about every conversation I have. You know, just in case someone notices the plethora of bruises and decides to report me. Maybe I should just make a sign to wear around my neck: “Please Don’t Take My Baby. She did this all herself. I swear.”




2 responses

9 12 2009

Sophie is the same way. With unbelievable timing, as I was typing that sentence, she toppled off of the sofa and started howling. She is ALWAYS covered in bruises. The ladies at the gym daycare don’t even blink anymore at her bruises and scratches. She’s just one of those kids. We haven’t wound up at the ER though. Yet.

9 12 2009
Michelle Garrison Hough

OK, this is hilarious! My 17 month old is just leaving this stage, but still has at least one bruise on his head at all times! I laughed out loud at your post because every single parent has these fears! This might help: our pediatrician has two boys 20 months apart and a set of twins. One day we saw her with a black eye which she got from being headbutted by her son. She told me the story of dropping her son off at daycare after he had fallen down a set of concrete stairs that morning, gettng multiple bruises and abrasions everywhere. EVERY parent and child goes through this injury stage, and it is very slapstick funny. Try to roll with it! 😉

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