The Post Where I Spout Depressing Talk

15 12 2009

Sometimes I have moments where I take an honest look at my life — where it’s been, where it is, where it’s headed — and I wonder how did it end up this way? And, I don’t mean that in a good way. That doesn’t include Azita. She really is the best decision I’ve ever made, the best thing that’s ever happened to me, just the best thing period. I just wonder about everything else and I wonder how are other people happy in a world like the one we live in? The polar ice caps are melting, people are killing each other, children are starving, I hate my job. How do people get happy? And how do I learn that trick? If anyone knows how one gets happy, I wish you’d teach me or at least point me in the right direction. And please don’t say ignorance. I already know it’s bliss, but I just can’t take that route.

Please excuse that digression. We’ll not return to the regularly scheduled upbeat portion of our programming.

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One response

15 12 2009
Natasha

Hi I just ran across your site through Mamapedia (Guilty…I only stopped by because my daughter’s name is Zahriah–a variant of your name– and I had to click on your name!) With that being said, after reading this latest blog, I felt complelled to answer. No, I don’t have the answer on how to be hapy w/o being ignorant. Like you, I do not chose that. However I needed to answer because I feel somewhat the same. I wouldn’t change one aspect about my mixed and bi-racial family, that I am content with. But somedays I too lament over this world with all of the torment and devastation that surrounds us. I am unhappy with my lack of career and the personal fianace choices I made earlier that have resulted in LOTS of sacrafices. But one thing that keeps me happy, albeit temporary, is the fact that I can do at least a little to help ease the world of some of its suffereing. I try to give a friendly word to other people as I pass by in the store. I try to smile in public. And when given the cold shoulder, I try not to reciprocate, and instead smile at the next. One day I want to operate a non-profit organization that helps mothers and children. I guess the thing that gives me the stregnth to carry on when I’m feeling the “gloom” of the world crushing me is the fact that I can at least help one person feel better, and someday even more all at once. Even if its your daughter maybe that can help distract your mind just for a little, and trust me I know that won’t always take the feeling away, but its all I can offer. I am still trying to find my peace and I hope you find yours. Happy Holidays as well to you and yours.

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